Christmas in Thailand 2009

For our first Christmas together, Chris and I decided that since going home to our families wasn't an option, we weren't going to stay at home and feel sorry for ourselves! We were going to go TRAVEL! After very little contemplation, we decided that Thailand was the best option for a cheap/amazing Christmas break. Air Asia gave us just the perfect excuse to jet out of Taiwan at a cheap price.


We landed in Bangkok, Thailand late on Thursday, December 17, 2009- gladly leaving behind a cold, wet Taiwan. We had scheduled a day trip to Kanchanaburi (pronounced Kan-chana-buri) Town which is about 2 hours west of Bangkok EARLY the next morning. In order to fit in everything that we wanted to do there, we went through a tour company called Good Times Tours. We were met Friday morning by a very tiny and VERY spunky Thai tour guide named Dolores. If I wasn't tired before we left, I was tired after the three hour culture class she gave us on our way to Kanchanaburi.

Like most tours, we moved fast and took lots of pictures. Our first stop was at the 7-leveled natural waterfall called Erawan falls.

We got to watch wild monkeys play, jog uphill behind Dolores through 5 of 7 layers of the falls, and stop to play in a natural water-slide on level 4. Unfortunately for us when booking the tour, I think that Dolores was misinformed that our paid tour was actually a sponsored marathon.


After we sprinted through our what could have been a five hour hike in two hours, we trucked it from Erawan Falls to a small elephant camp were we were able to ride and feed the elephants! It felt a bit "canned," but you can't help but love those huge, slow-moving creatures.

After our adventure to Kanchanaburi, Chris and I spent a couple days touring in Bangkok. We went to the local weekend market where we saw and tasted just about everything that we could have imagined! The sights well outweighed the torture of shopping for Chris, and he tolerated well over five hours of crowds/shopping. Now that I know he CAN survive such intense shopping experiences, he has no excuse in the future... muaaahhhh ha ha ha *evil laugh*

The. Best. Coffee. Ever. Period.

Well said, Bangkok. Even you can't tell the difference.

After crowded and bustling Bangkok, we headed down to the southern peninsula and ended up on a small island named Koh (island) Tao (turtle). Koh Toa is a scuba diving certification FACTORY. It's cheap, fast, and high quality; Everything you could want in an Open Water Scuba Cert and more. We stayed with a cute little Dive Resort called Buddha View. It was off the beaten path, but it was cozy and friendly. We spent the week there learning to dive and living the island lifestyle. We learned to drive scooters and managed to survive that experience! Here's the highlight real from cute little Koh Tao!

We managed to stumble upon the cutest Thai restaurant about a mile from our resort. By far the best part of our Koh Tao experience. Better than dreams.

Mangroves Bay where we practiced diving.

The beautifully unique sideways growing palm trees.

The view out to the water off of our little resort.

Look what we can do! (Said "Stewart" on Mad TV)

After successfully completing our diving course, we spent Christmas day on a bus traveling to the other side of the Thai peninsula to another diving town called Ko Lak (one of the cities that got destroyed by the tsunami in 2005). We were scheduled to take some dive trips out to world class dive sites at the Similian Islands. After a long, frustrating day of bus travel we landed in Ko Lak around 9:00 p.m. to find that our dive shop had miscommunications with our reservations and we were not indeed booked to scuba the next day. Disappointed, we headed back to our deceptively beautiful hotel Tony Lodge.

We placed some much needed phone calls to our family to touch base for some holiday love, and as Chris talked on the phone to his parents I began to drift off to sleep. At some point I rolled over and opened my eyes just enough to see what was at least a 2-inch long cockroach run from under my pillow to under what was going to be Chris's pillow (had he been laying down). After an intense jolt back into the conscious world, I soon learned from the front desk worker that NO they didn't have any other rooms available, and that 11:00 p.m. at night no one else would either. Tired and only half-sane, we sucked it up and burned the insect "incense" they offered to us.

The next day we headed back into town to see what we could do to get ourselves out on a boat and diving into the deep blue. After some intense discussions with our disorganized dive shop, they offered us a dive to a different location which we gladly accepted. We headed out on a small rickety dive boat (not much larger than a canoe with structured seating) which we rolled off the side into the water when we were ready for our ship wreck dive. Once in the water, we were not disappointed with the wildlife that we saw.

(Later I found out that the bow of the boat was considered to be sacred, and no one was supposed to sit out there.... Wooops.)

After an amazing day of diving we had one more night to stay in Ko Lak and ended up finding a dive shop that could take us out to the Similian Island the following day. We jumped on the opportunity in spite of having to stay at the Roach Hotel for one more night. Although the dive boat was crowded because the dive site was so popular, we had our own guide which helped us find some cool stuff. Other than just another generally cool day diving, the most memorable part of the day was the sea turtle that swam up next to our boat to eat some of the bananas that the ship crew threw over to him.

After spending almost six consecutive days in the water learning to dive or diving, we were waterlogged, exhausted, and headed home (whether we liked it or not). We went to Phuket Island for one night and then headed back to Bangkok before our flight back to Taiwan. We squeezed as much Thai food as we could into the last few minutes of our vacations before giving our stomachs a much needed break from Thai Sweet Chili sauce. All in all, it was successful trip. We had very few mishaps and only one situations where we believed we were ripped off (maybe $20 USD). We did have one "fake out" in which we spent looking for my wallet for about 2 hours, believing it to be stolen, only to return to the room to find it in my backpack (ask Chris how he felt about THAT situation).

Fortunately for us, we came home to Taiwan with heavy, souvenir-laden suitcases, full-bellies, PADI open water dive certs, sunburn-turned tans, and some pretty darn good memories. For that I want to say: I love you, Chris!! (and sorry I made you look for that wallet for so long!)

The Grand Reopening!

From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars, "I am man!", our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our mortality. But tonight, we shall hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself. Tonight, we shall ascend into the heavens. We shall mock the earthquake. We shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself... My grandfather's work was doo-doo!

Gene Wilder, Young Frankenstein.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Lisa who completely distracted her husband from writing in the blog that she encouraged him to write about their impending adventures around the world.

Yada yada yada, we totally failed.

However, today is a new day. Consider it a resurrection, nay, a reanimation of a previously dead web site. From what was previously an unmoving mass of dead tissue non-updated bloggage, now stands a man, a monster, a horrible thing.

IT'S ALIVE*!

*Again. Many apologies for the delays. We'll be back-posting repeatedly in the next few days (hopefully). If not, even more apologies.

An Idiots Guide to becoming a Gypsy

USAir 3802, 31,000 FEET IN THE SKY—On Friday, my Mom called me to say hello. She asked how things were going, as far as moving and everything, and how the weather was going. As the conversation started to wane, she asked me if Lisa was around. “Nah, still at work,” I replied.

“Oh, ok, well I just wanted to ask her what it’s like to be unemployed!”

I laughed, but I hadn’t even thought about that yet—Lisa’s last day at work was Friday, so she was technically unemployed now.* Friday night and Saturday morning would be spent packing and cleaning for the move out of Lincoln; once we left the apartment and turned in the key, though, we’d be jobless and homeless. Yay for security!

It took us, realistically, the entire week to prepare for this move. I spent one or two days cleaning out my closet, throwing away trash, packing clothes, repacking them (in those vacuum-seal packing bags), and shuffling around different items to keep my two allotted suitcases to 50 pounds or less. Another day was spent just returning items to the store and running different errands around town. By the time Friday rolled around, I’d had more than enough of this moving business.

Things were really bad for Lisa, with her spending most of the week battling the chest cold that I happily shared with her. Being that she was working the 9-5 every day, her evenings were spent coming home and packing up all her possessions in preparation for this weekend. Even though I think we both wished we had more time to prepare to leave Lincoln, it was a complete and utter blessing when we rolled out of town in our packed-to-the-brim Accord and drove off into our futures.

Ah yes, the car—how could I leave that out? Mostly, I’d guess, because I’ve spent the last 12 hours trying to block it out of my mind. Even with the trip home last weekend to get rid of a lot of our stuff, there were still so many items that Lisa and I pined to take with us. Many of the items we gladly gave up: 2 huge cardboard boxes of clothes, Vadalia’s dog crate (which we lovingly filled with no less than 200 clothes hangers), the trusty microwave I had toted along with me no less than 5 different “homes” in 2 years. Other items were more difficult, and even after friends stopped by to take many of our possessions (thanks Wael and Sarah!), there were lamps and sports equipment and tons of other things that we would have loved to keep if not for space and logistical constraints. Saturday morning, then, we lined up everything that we’d decided we would to attempt to bring with us in the living room and began the process of packing the car.

I recognize that I am prone to be hyperbolic at times. Perhaps it’s the self-conscious cynic inside me, but almost any time I say “It was the heaviest thing I’ve ever carried!” or “I was starving!”, I feel a bit silly for being so dramatic. Really? That 20-pound backpack is the heaviest thing you’ve ever held? Were you really starving? Really? With that being said, let me report this:

Had we brought attempted to squeeze one more item—a plastic Wal-Mart bag, a small shoe box, a sweater—into that vehicle, I can say with all certainty that it would have exploded. Seriously.

[Side story: two summers ago, when we moved Lisa from Chattanooga, Tennessee, to Lincoln, Nebraska, I was bewildered by the way this woman was able to squeeze force an endless number of items into her Accord. Furniture, clothes, a dog crate: you name it, Lisa had packed it. All she had left in Chattanooga was one box of food she “kinda wanted to take” with her; everything else was in (including her puppy, who sat on the floorboard of the passenger’s seat). While it wasn’t comfortable at all, I was simply amazed by how Lisa was able to cram her entire life into that vehicle. Now flash forward to yesterday: This makes that look like a casual stroll through the woods.]

Between the back seat, the trunk, and the floorboards, Lisa again proved to be a greater packer than Bart Starr. But how full was it? Thanks for asking. My driver’s seat to the car was at its most upright position, scooted as close to the steering wheel as possible. Not only was leg space impossible, I had to steer the wheel with my elbows. Let’s do a little experiment:

1. Put your hands on your chest.
2. Move them two inches away from your body, keeping your elbows as close to your torso as possible.
3. Make fists like your holding a steering wheel.
4. Bring your knees up as close to your hands as possible.
5. Stop breathing regularly.
6. Pretend like you can't feel your legs.
7. Stay like that for 10 hours.
   

I promise you with every bit of my soul that this is not an exaggeration at all.

However, after nearly 13 hours, 5 states, and 2 time zones, a guy, a girl, and a 50-pound peeved-off puppy rolled into Indianapolis, exhausted, cramped, and ready for a good night of sleep. For Lisa, it was the beginning of her last fortnight at home as a single girl; for me, it was the day before I flew home to officially complete my reign as the Webb family dungeon (read: basement) master (read: borrower).

So here I am, sitting in an airplane, just a few days away from the end of an era. Often times, you hear about "the next chapter" (from people who don't themselves read, let alone write, books). In a way, I feel like this transformation is even greater; it's the end of one book and the beginning of another. I'm single, living at home, unemployed, and poor; soon, I'll be married, living on my own (in a foreign country, no less), teaching, and completely loaded comfortable.

The thing is, I'm psyched. I'm not worried. I'm thrilled. This week at home will be fun and relaxing, but it'll just be a layover. In just a matter of days, Lisa and I will set sail on our greatest adventure yet.

*I can’t say anything on that—I hadn’t been employed since the last week of May. Furthermore, I had no car, meaning that I would technically be referred to as a "drifter".

Barrelin’ along—A story of a torn bungee cord, a broken tailgate, and a nearly-disastrous furniture move

LINCOLN, NEBRASKA—One of the side effects of moving across the world is the inability to take all your possessions with you. Most airlines limit you to the amount of luggage you can take internationally to 2 full bags, one carry-on, and one “personal item” (a purse, murse, backpack, satchel, laptop case, diaper bag, duty-free sack, or fanny-pack). Nowhere, to my knowledge, does USAir allow one to take 2 wood dressers, 1 nightstand, and 3 giant cardboard boxes of “treasure” acquired over the last two years.

This rather unfortunate detail has forced Lisa and I to make a few decisions over what items we wanted to bring with us to Taiwan. Many items we sold via Craigslist; others we gave to friends and family. But what would be the fate of some of the larger purchases that we had bought intending to keep for a significant amount of time? Luckily, my family came through and offered a spot in their storage unit in Kansas to store a few of our larger furniture items, provided we could find a way to get all the stuff down there. One quick phone call to Enterprise Rent-a-Car (or in our case, Enterprise Rent-a-big-wed-twuck) solved our problem.

However, the day was not without flaws and… challenges. Here’s a run-down of what the 24 26 hours of hell looked like:

June 20th, 9:30pm—After spending most of the day discussing the packing that we should be doing, Lisa and I drove up to the airport to pick up the vehicle. Lisa, being 25, has to sign for the truck. On the drive back home, Lisa calls me to inform me that “This thing is AWESOME.” Jealous, I drive the not-quite-as-interesting Honda Accord aggressively to a song by someone named Lady GaGa.

10:00pm—We officially begin packing for the next day. Recognizing the task before me, I become volatile and start shoving clothes into plastic sacks at a breakneck pace.

June 21, 1:00am—Lisa and I call a truce and decide to go to bed then and wake up at 6:00 on the dot to finish our job.

6:24am—Packing resumes; the official plan is to be rolling by 9:00am.

7:01am—I declare to Lisa that it’s pointless to even try packing everything up (being that we have to much left to do) for the 3rd time. She insists that because we have already paid for the truck, we would be driving down to Kansas come hell or high water. I am reminded why I love her.

7:23am—Finally done with the packing. Now, all we have left to do is load 78 items onto the truck bed. Lisa, not being very good at math or logic puzzles, doesn’t seem to fret that there is approximately 4 times as many things to get into and onto the vehicle than there is space for. Again, she insists it will be no problem. Moving to the truck begins.

7:24am—First beads of sweat begin to roll down my back and nest on my booty. It’s going to be a long day.

7:27am—Colossal-sized dresser loaded onto truck in the lying down position.

7:36am—Nightstand and smaller dresser loaded onto truck in the lying position. It is now we realize that if everything is to fit onto the truck, it can’t be lyng down. The emergency plan is to stand up all items nearest to the cab and fill up the bed with as many things as possible to prevent the furniture from falling over. Foolproof.

7:40am—I remember a quote: “Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently-talented fool.” Uh oh.

7:53am—Boxes upon boxes are stood up behind the dressers. I declare that there is no more possible space in the truck bed to fit even an envelope. Moving continues to the back seat of the cab.

8:14am—Mostly finished, I inform Lisa of my nervousness about the grey clouds hovering above us. Lisa argues that it will not rain (“How do you know that?” “It’s just not gonna!”). We compromise by agreeing to get a tarp and bungee cords for me; Lisa will get a grande Frappucino. Everyone is happy.

8:36am—Travels commence. First stop is Lincoln’s Super Target.

8:40am—We reach our target (wah wah). Acquiring the tarp and bungee cords proves to be easier for us than the brewing of our beverages by our talented, 16-year-old barista. There should be a college degree requirement for these employees. Perhaps unemployed English majors should be drafted into the $5 coffee beverage army.

8:52am—John Madden stops by to describe my complete dominance over the 8’x6’ plastic tarp and $15 bungee cord set: “You see what he did there, he pulled the tarp out and just covered the heck out of that bed. I mean, you think it’s gonna ride up or something, maybe fly off the bed, and BOOM, there he is, bungee cord. I’m looking at this kid, thinking, hey, he’s like the young Brett Farve of the truck/plastic-covering industry. Pat, pass me some more of that tur-duck-en…”

8:57am—Everything’s strapped down and ready to roll. Liftoff in 5, 4, 3…

8:58am—I look out the driver’s side mirror to see the tarp catching in the wind like a hot air balloon. One of the bungees has even partially ripped in half. So much for the “We can protect this stuff against the wind, rain and bug splatters” effort. Off with the tarp, but some bungees can stay on to secure the precious cargo.

9:01am—Everything secured again. Take 2.

9:04am—Lisa’s eyes don’t leave the dresser in the back. She expresses her nervousness about how the dresser is learning a wee bit backwards, collapsing the cardboard box of clothes behind it. On my rearview mirror evaluation, it can’t possibly be leaning back more than 5°.

9:05am— Ok, maybe 10°.

9:06am—30°.

9:06:30am—45°. Ok, Lisa, we’ll find a spot to pull over. However, there’s not really anywhere to do any kind of extensive rearranging, so we have to hop off Highway 77 to some abandoned parking lot.

9:12am—4 or 5 boxes are pulled out of the truck so the big dresser can lie down. All is good, except now we have to get all that stuff back in. Lisa, a master packer, get all but one colossal cardboard box back in the truck bed. She shoves it into a far-too-small spot and slams the tailgate closed. It responds by popping off its hinge.

9:31am—Lisa tinkers with the tailgate, trying to figure out how to just snap it back into its place. I still haven’t moved since Lisa broke the truck.

9:33am—I finally get my bearings and help her try to jam the piece back into its (now-broken) hinge. Running through my mind is not how we’re going to get all this stuff to Kansas, but how we’d even be able to get it back the 10 miles to Lincoln without a tailgate.

9:37am—A lot of really angry grunting.

9:40am—We finally get it set just right so we can close the back. Finally loaded up, we get back on the road. Lisa sits in the passenger’s seat and giggles.

9:53am—I end my angry speaking-strike against Lisa.

9:54am—She’s cute, so I guess I have to forgive her. Danget. At least now we’re going to safely make it home.

12:13pm—My last drive from Lincoln to Junction City comes to a close. The only casualty is my sanity.

12:32pm—My parents lead us to their storage facility, where we unload all of our loot. All is safe. Now off to Manhattan for some food and shopping.

6:13pm—Leave for the return trip to Lincoln. At some point on this drive, I realize that my throat is getting sore. By the time we hit Nebraska, I’ve almost completely lost my voice.

9:47pm—We return the truck to Enterprise Car Rental with just minutes to spare. Whew. With everything safe and secure, we drive home to get some decent rest after an exhausting day.

Shutup, "Madagascar": I HATE to move it move it.